Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
