Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize