She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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