do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am naked and annoyed.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
