eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
