when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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