My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize