She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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