woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We got so high we made milksteak
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
