are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
