Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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