the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
