Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
