why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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