So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
