yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize