There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
