3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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