ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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