YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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