I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
