And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
