I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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