We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
