It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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