He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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