hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
