I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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