We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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