Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
