I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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