Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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