Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
