Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i came on her dog
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
