We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
