I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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