we're blogging at a bar
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
