Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
last night I used snow as a chaser
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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