Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
