How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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