Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize