Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
