trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
