I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
