I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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