WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
