I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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