FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
