She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
