the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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