Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
