Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
