You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
