sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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