Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
