Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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