Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
