You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am one with the molecules
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
