READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
time to smoke my breakfast
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
