the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
