I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
