The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize