Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
a search helicopter?!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
