Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
