Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
