How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just cropdusted the office
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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