I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
jump out the window naked night went bad
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