I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
