Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize