Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
