SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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