i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
