its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
