he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
