I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
