Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
