My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
