On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize